The Result of Texting People at 3am in the Morning
by Camacartz
Summary: At 3am in the morning me and Death Wears Diamond Jewelry starting texting each other and this is the result. Be warned its more than a bit insane, random things happen and it makes no sense so don't expect any.


The result of texting people at 3am in the morning

**A/N: Hi! This will probably make very little sense to anyone as it doesn't really make that much sense to us. We went a bit crazy at 3am in the morning when we couldn't sleep and the texts kinda side-tracked and went off the subject and we forgot what we started writing about lol.  
Points to anyone who spots the Avenue Q and Torchwood 'quotes' (not exact word for word quotes but close enough for 3 in the morning)**

**Enjoy! =)**

Merlin and Arthur are out on a hunt with the knights. All of a sudden Merlin realised he had left his neckerchief behind. He begged Arthur to let him go back for it, he wasn't even needed on the hunt but Arthur refused saying it looked ridiculous on him anyway.

"Ridiculous?!" he protested, "it saved your life! If I hadn't been able to use it to get that antidote to you you'd be dead now!" Merlin complained.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'D BE DEAD NOW!?! DID YOU DROP THE ANTIDOTE?" Arthur yelled. "Erm…well kinda… it wasn't my fault and you're alive now aren't you, you should just be grateful for once" Merlin replied with a half grin.

"Are you telling me that the potion I swallowed was off the floor? THE FLOOR?!?"

Arthur growled.

Merlin shuffled his feet nervously "um..." he trailed off with a nervous laugh. Arthur glared at him "Are you completely useless Merlin?" he asked angrily.

"Erm…No…" hr replied looking uncertain. 'I erm, brought your hunting gear though!' he continued, cheering up a little at the fact that he'd done at least something right. He held up the bag. 'Oh no' he though 'This is not good'

Arthur looked at the bag and back to Merlin, "Merlin, that's a bag full of mushrooms"

Merlin looked at the bag, he didn't understand how all of the hunting gear could have turned into mushrooms until he remembered.

It was all Gwen's fault really. It had started this morning when she came rushing into his bed chambers unannounced shouting 'Quick, Merlin! Help! Morgana's had another nightmare! She said it was about you and Arthur and you need mushrooms! You need to find a bag and collect some now!"

Merlin looked at her, "Gwen, I don't think-"

Gwen glared at him.

'I still don't see what I could possibly need mushrooms for' he muttered to himself as he knelt down to pick a couple more. 'I'm a warlock for god's sake and a good one at that if I need mushrooms I could just conjure them up out of thin air, right in front of Arthur and get my head chopped off, yeah great idea Merlin."

After Gwen's glare he had known that there was no point arguing so without even grabbing his scarf he had left to collect these oh-so important mushrooms and he would be late for work as well. 'Where've you been, Merlin?' 'Oh nowhere sire, just out to pick mushrooms to save your life on the dream of your witch of a step-sister' Merlin mimicked to himself, 'yeah, that would go down well'.

When he had finished the mushroom picking and, muttering, Merlin put the bag on his back and began to walk back to the castle. On his way back he ran into Arthur,

"Merlin, where have you been? Actually, I don't care, just go and get the hunting gear.

"Yes Sire" Merlin replied with a mocking bow, running off before Arthur could do anything about his 'total lack of respect for authority'.

Merlin reached the stables 15 minutes later where an impatient Arthur stood tapping his foot, "What took you so long?" he demanded rhetorically

"Not so long that you readied your own horse" Merlin muttered under his breath, throwing the hunting gear and sack of mushrooms on to the floor.

Merlin remembered picking up one bag and thinking it was lighter than it should be, he realised he'd picked up the wrong bag and looked up at Arthur who was glaring at him with a look that threatened to burn him alive where he stood.

"So Merlin, do you have an explanation for the mushrooms or should I assume you really are developing a mental affliction?"

"Well...You see... I..."

"I'm waiting Merlin" Arthur stated, a smirk tugging at his lips and one eyebrow raised.

"I was... That's to say... Err" Merlin continued to stammer.

"It's OK, Merlin, I understand" the Prince replied.

'Oh no, not good' Merlin internally panicked, "Understand what, Sire?"

"That you're in love with mushrooms. In fact you love them so much you couldn't be apart from them! Well guess what?"

Merlin looked at him warily, he didn't trust that smirk at all

"It must be your lucky day because the only thing you're eating for the week is mushrooms! That should cure your problem" Merlin frowned. He hated mushrooms.

'Yeah help me my arse' he scowled, everything related with Arthur got him in to trouble recently, for instance he had ended up in the stocks just last week after Arthur decided that he was hungry in the middle of the night and somehow had managed to appear in Merlin's bedchambers while he was sleeping only to wake him to demand that he went and raided the kitchens to get him a snack.

Damn Arthur and his hunger! He did have to admit though, that he didn't mind Arthur turning up in the dead of night but he was still kind of puzzled about why Arthur had gone strangely quiet when he was half awake, it kind of creeped him out when Arthur did nothing but stare at him for a full five minutes before he finally regained the use of his voice Merlin had never seen Arthur look so hungry. "_Merrrrlinn_" he whined quietly, "I'm starving, I think I might die if I don't eat in the next five seconds!"

"Shame" Merlin muttered under his breath, "So I guess I should just go sneaking around the castle in the middle of the night to get you food that you could easily go without while there's a curfew on!" Merlin continued at an audible volume.

"Well it's your fault there's a curfew on anyway" Arthur pouted, "If you hadn't managed to convince my father that there was a sorcerer lose in Camelot then we'd be fine! But as your idiocy seems permanent then yes, you do have to find me some food and yes I will kill you if you don't" Merlin rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Prat" he muttered. As he pulled himself out of bed he looked over at Arthur to find the Prince looking through his magic book. He panicked when Arthur looked up at him accusingly. "Merlin, did you use calligraphy to write in this book?! You really are a girl aren't you?!" Arthur laughed.

"Wha..t..what..WHAT?!?" Merlin stammered "I AM NOT A GIRL! And do you even know what that is?"

"Yes, _Merrlin_, I do know what this is, it's a spell book used by wizards and other such magical creatures" Arthur replied with a wave of his hand that was half dismissively and half smugly.

Merlin stood mouth wide in shock, Arthur snapped the book shut and looked at him half amused half infuriated. "The question is Merlin, why do you have one?"

Merlin swallowed nervously and sank slowly onto his bed, he felt sick and slightly dizzy. Arthur was going to have him executed for sure now. He suddenly realised how much he had.

"Arthur, I'm so sorry" he whispered, tears rolling down his cheeks before he even realised he was crying.

Arthur stood looking at him for a moment before sitting down on Merlin's bed and pulling the dark haired boy down next to him.

"Did you not think I'd notice? HOW STUPID DO YOU THINK I AM?!?" Arthur yelled suddenly enraged at the thought of Merlin not trusting him.

Arthur felt Merlin flinch at the anger in his voice.

Merlin sighed "I don't know what I was thinking trying to keep it from you. I should've known you'd work it out. Just tell me, how long have I got left?"

Arthur's eyes widened at the idea of thoughts going through Merlin's head. "Merlin, I'm... I'm not going to kill you".

Merlin pulled himself away from Arthur.

"Why? Why does it matter? What do I mean to you? I'm just a servant, why does it matter Arthur? You can't honestly tell me that you'll defy your father, the KING to save my life! I'm nothing to him, or to you. Just promise me you won't burn me. I don't want to go to hell screaming"

Arthur shuddered at the thought. "Merlin, I have already disobeyed my father for you AND risked my life or do you not recall the time when you stupidly got yourself poisoned or kept hostage by the lord of the unicorns?" Arthur replied partly joking and partly defensive. "Do you really think that I would ever, could ever, let anyone, especially my father, hurt you in anyway?"

"Why... Why do you care?" Merlin was close to tears again.

Arthur stood up exasperated, running a hand through his hair, "Because Merlin I...I" Arthur sighed and buried his face in his hands, "I love you" he whispered almost inaudibly.

Merlin looked at him, "you what?" he whispered back, Arthur looked up at him.

"You may not be much to my father but you mean a hell of a lot to me Merlin. Don't ever say anything like that again, don't even think it. I love you"

Merlin stared at him in shock "Arthur HAVE YOU BEEN TAKING MUSHROOMS?!?"

"What?" Arthur was the one now close to tears "Of course not. I love you and always will" he stood and turned to leave.

"Arthur, wait!" Merlin leapt off the bed and grabbed Arthur, spinning him round so they were face to face. "I love you too."

Arthur looked at him "Don't mock me, I love you but that doesn't mean you can mock me for it!"

Merlin let out a frustrated sigh "You are such a prat! How can you say that! You love me and I tell you that I love you too and you just throw it back at me! It's not fair Arthur. You can't say that and then tell me you don't want me anyway. It's not fair" Merlin broke off on a whisper and sat on his bed as far away from Arthur as possible.

"Merlin-" Arthur started but Merlin shook his head and buried his face in his hands, "Just go" he whispered.

"No" Arthur replied "Not like this"

"Fine" Merlin responded "I'll go" stalking to the door.

"Merlin! This is your room!" Arthur yelled

"Then get the hell out of it!" Merlin screamed back, pushing Arthur back roughly towards the door.

They were suddenly interrupted by Gaius sticking his head around the door "Sire, what are you doing here at this late hour?" he asked with raised eyebrows. The boys had forgotten about the old man sleeping just in the next room.  
"He was leaving" Merlin said, glaring pointedly at Arthur.

"Yes, WE were" Arthur replied taking Merlin's wrist and dragging the protesting servant out of his room.

Arthur dragged him out of the castle, through the courtyard and out in to the forest, his nails digging into Merlin's wrists painfully the entire way. They finally stopped in a clearing, Merlin's heart was racing, he knew there was no way he would be able to find his way back to Camelot from here, especially in the dark. 'Had Arthur done it on purpose, purposely picking a place he didn't know?' Merlin panicked to himself 'what the hell was Arthur planning?!'

Arthur turned to face him and let go of his wrist. Merlin automatically wrapped his other hand around it to try to prevent it from hurting as much, Arthur sighed.  
"Whenever I don't know what to do I come here" he said quietly, "I've never brought anyone here before but you're different. This… this is the only place I have ever cried. I don't feel safe anywhere else."

Suddenly Merlin could see Arthur for what he was, a scared little boy, forced to grow up too quickly and so lonely, so, so lonely that it almost broke his heart to see it.

He walked towards where Arthur now sat silently sobbing carefully, feeling suddenly guilty for how he had acted. He dropped to the ground and pulled Arthur towards him, enveloping him with his arms, whispering gently to Arthur trying desperately to soothe him "I'm sorry" Merlin whispered.

Arthur shook his head "For what?" he asked

"For... lying to you, for pushing you away, for making you cry" Merlin replied then added "for being a terrible servant"  
Arthur smiled a little at that "You really are the worst servant I've ever had." Arthur told him.

"I'm not surprised! With all the work you give me you'd think I was ten people!" he said with a smile.

"Well you do have magic" Arthur pointed out.  
Merlin's smile faded a little, "yeah" he agreed quietly.

Arthur watched him as he played with his hands.

"Show me" Arthur asked quietly.

"Arthur" Merlin started

"Merlin" Arthur said cutting him off, "Come on, it's the middle of the night, no one's going to see" Arthur pleaded.

"Fine"

"Really?" Arthur's face lit up.

"Yeah, if you're sure that's what you want, but you only get one guilt trip." Merlin laughed. Arthur pouted in response and sat crossed legged on the floor, facing Merlin like a child in a classroom waiting for the teacher to do something amazing.  
"Okay" said Merlin. He stood up and walked to the center of the circle and held his arms out, hands facing upwards. He whispered some words under his breath and suddenly the whole clearing was alight with thousands of tiny flames hovering a few feet off the ground, they ranged from bright reds to rich purple. Arthur looked around in awe, the reflections of the tiny flames dancing in his eyes.

"Merlin if magic can be so pretty why does father hate it? Arthur questioned in a small voice "you're not evil, are you Merlin?" Arthur shook his head answering his own question "no, you can't be evil! And neither's Morgana!" he concluded decisively.

"Morgana?" Merlin questioned carefully, he knew about Morgana's gift but he wasn't aware that Arthur did.

"Well she dreams things that come true so she's a seer, right? I mean she visits the druids often enough."

Merlin sighed. "Your father has his reasons for hating magic, Arthur" he said sitting opposite the prince, flames moving away from where he sat, "but not everyone with magic is evil, like me and Morgana, but those who use it wrongly are dangerous. I mean, I could bring the walls of Camelot crashing down just with a few whispers. I could kill millions."

Arthur looked at him.

"Why don't you?" Arthur interrupted suddenly

"What?! Why would I?" Merlin replied "You don't go around randomly killing people with your sword, do you, even though you are the world's biggest prat!"

"MERLIN!"

"I'm sorry, world's biggest prat _Sire_" Merlin grinned in response.

Arthur attempted a glare but ended up laughing along.

"Is this what it feels like to be... normal?" Arthur asked.

"Well we are surrounded by hovering flames, but yeah, pretty much" Merlin replied.

Arthur smiled, "I like it."  
There was a moments silence before Arthur sighed, "We should go back"

Merlin walked with Arthur back to his room.

"Oh no" Arthur winced. Uther was stood outside his room, he did not look happy.

"Arthur!" he barked.

"Where have you been?! I nearly had the guards after you!"  
Arthur looked from his father to Merlin stood beside him, he couldn't tell his father where he had been. Merlin stepped forward.  
"Well, actually Sire, it was my fault I thought I saw something, a... a creature in the lower town and I came straight to Arthur for help, I know it's the middle of the night but..."

"You should have got one of the guards on duty not woken my son from his well deserved sleep. Do you have some kind of mental affliction?!?"

"Um no Sire..." Merlin stuttered

"Father" Arthur intervened "I'm sure Merlin won't do it again, will you Merlin?" Merlin shook his head, keeping his eyes on the floor.

"Hmmm" Uther scowled at Merlin disapprovingly "perhaps some time to reflect on this in the stocks will reinforce that message. Goodnight Arthur" he concluded and turned on his heel, heading back to his own personal chambers.

"Yes, goodnight Father, Merlin" he nodded towards his manservant sliding behind his door, giving Merlin a last, longing look before closing the door.

Merlin had spent most of the next day in the stocks, Arthur only passing once and whispering a "thank you" under his breath that had left Merlin with a smile on his face all day.

----------- Back to present -----------

"Well considering you have a complete lack of usefulness we might as well just go back to the castle" Arthur said.

As they reached the courtyard they saw Gwen and Morgana stood at the top of the steps, who turned as soon as they saw the hunting party's return and ran down the steps, giggling and squealing like a couple of teenage girls.

Merlin glared at them both and Arthur looked like he was trying not to laugh.  
"Merlin go put the horses back" Arthur ordered and Merlin rolled his eyes and took the horses to the stables, dragging Gwen with him.

"Mushrooms?" he asked her, "seriously Gwen!"

Gwen smiled, "It was Morgana's idea! Anyway, has he told you yet?" she asked, eyes shining expectantly.

"Told me what?" Merlin eyed Gwen suspiciously.

"That he loves you of course!" Gwen blurted out

"WHAT?!?" Merlin decided to play dumb.

Gwen flushed bright red "I... I... Erm..."

Merlin wasn't very good at winding people up and he burst out laughing.

"He told me the other night" he told her and she hit him on the arm.  
"Was that when you disappeared?" she asked,

Merlin smiled "yeah",

She looked at him "Where did you go?" Merlin shifted his feet  
"It's, um, kind of a secret" he mumbled, Gwen's eyes went wide.

"You didn't!" she exclaimed and Merlin's head shot up,

"Didn't what?!?" he asked having an idea what Gwen was thinking right now.  
She smiled, "you know what I mean" Merlin stared at her

"NO! Gwen that... that's just... wrong"

"No it isn't" she beamed

"So what did you do?" she pried

"We just... we just talked" Merlin said looking uncomfortable, shuffling his feet.

"About what?" she asked, Merlin looked at her,  
"It doesn't matter" he told her  
She smiled "Well, now we know, I mean me and Morgana always thought it but..." she trailed off,  
Merlin looked at her accusingly, "thought what?" he asked.  
"That you were gay silly!" Merlin's eyes widened.

"I'm not... it's not... it's just him. Any other guy no but him... I love him."

Gwen smiled "Aww, but seriously, it doesn't bother me what you do in bed with guys"

They walked back out of the stables towards Arthur and Morgana, Merlin blushing profusely, and, by the blush on Arthur's face, they had been having a similar conversation.

"Hey" Merlin said shyly.

"Hey" Arthur replied quietly. Both boys looked at each other and looked away again.  
The girls giggled "Come on Gwen, let's leave them to it" Morgana said. Merlin looked at her and mouthed "Mushrooms?" at which she smiled and mouthed back "ask Arthur". Merlin turned to him confused but Arthur just walked in to the castle.

Feeling rather like a lapdog, Merlin followed him only daring to talk when they were in the privacy of Arthur's chambers.

"So, erm..." Merlin started feeling strangely unsettled under Arthur's intense gaze, "what's Morgana's thing with mushrooms, since I guess she didn't really have a dream about them since I didn't need them to save your life or whatever and she only sees the future that actually happens and that didn't which would mean that she'd seen a lie or she's losing her ability or something and I'm not sure she can lose it since she was born with it and all" Merlin rambled, his face turning a deeper shade of red with every word.

Arthur smiled "I needed an excuse, I figured if I just asked you to pick some mushrooms you'd ask why so I got Morgana to get Gwen to tell you you needed them".

Merlin was still confused, "but why do you need mushrooms?" he asked

"Because Merlin, they happen to be my favourite food" Arthur replied

"Wait, that means Morgana knows about you and me!" Merlin exclaimed in horror. Arthur just grinned, "She won't tell" he said

"But Arthur!"

Arthur just laughed "Merlin, I'm hungry"  
Merlin glared at him "Yes _Sire_" he replied with a smile.


End file.
